Recounting

in which I thank different people for many things

  1. We didn’t think we’d make it in time. None of the plans we had made in July materialized beyond preliminary related literature research, and we had only officially started writing our thesis early January. But mid-way through February, we presented our defense to two of the least threatening professors of the European Studies department. We all left Bel smiling that morning.
  2. Thank you for almost cutting class for me that day. We both knew then that we should start asking the questions we’d long been meaning to. Sa’n ka na? was a good place to start.
  3. Everyone was telling you what you wanted to hear: He doesn’t deserve you; Ang tanga naman niya; Mas maganda ka talaga kay sa babaeng ‘yun. But after we talked a lot and cried a lot less, we left the office knowing none of that was what we needed.
  4. It was about time we made our paths cross one weekend. Cavite was your home away from home, and for two days and one night, it was also ours. There was more of our family than yours, but your generosity and your parents’ extend beyond numbers. Being counted in was more than enough.
  5. Why, Pam? Why? was probably the first thing you said after you asked me how I am. Shock is a common response, and disappointment is just as common, if not more hidden. But thank you for choosing my happiness over your incredulity for the rest of our dinner date. I never thought a Classic Italian sandwich would taste better with your blatant disapproval, but our conversation was definitely more flavorful than the red wine vinaigrette.
  6. Stop being so motherly. That was one of the reasons I had a small crush on you. Another was admiration. I wondered if my staffers would feel as at home, as comfortable and as valued around me as we were with you, but I left before I could find out.
  7. Thank you for convincing me to stay.
  8. You didn’t change the way I hoped you would. Probably nothing did. But I still believe something might.
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